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Apologies - Acoustic EP

by Seasons Change

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1.
Paperweight 01:50
My dear darling, I hope you miss me. My dear darling, I hope you love me too. Please don't go, I'm not ready to say goodbye, even though your lips feel softest when they kiss goodnight. I'm sorry I can't help the fact that I think about you all the time. You're the only thing that's always on my mind. And I hate that down the street feels like forever when we're not together, and I hate that I can't sleep when you're not right here, and you can't hear me. I'm singing and I'm wishing that you were here too, but my voice never seems to reach you.
2.
I Love You 03:27
If I told you that I loved you, would you promise not to leave? If I told you that I need you, would you say that you need me? 'Cause I'm dying to just hold you close.. A petty wish, it may seem, but right now it's what I need the most. I just want for you to smile. I just want for you to breathe. I just want for you bliss and simplicity.. I just want you with me. I'm sorry that we fought tonight. Could we just forget things? Maybe we can sleep tonight... make up in each other's dreams. 'Cause I'm dying to just kiss your lips. A petty wish, it may seem, but right now it's the only thing I miss. I just want for you to smile. I just want for you to breathe. If I told you that I loved you.. Would you promise not to leave?
3.
Dreaming 04:18
I'm writing to you, 'cause I think it's long overdue. For eighteen years I've held this in, for eighteen years I've wondered what could have been. Would you have loved me? Would you be proud of who I am? I still think of you every day. Would you have loved me? Would you be proud of who I am? I still think of you with every day that passes by. I thought I saw you yesterday, but you looked right through me. I must have been just dreaming. 'Cause I screamed your name at the top of my lungs.. 'till my throat filled up with blood, but you never turned your head. I guess I must have been dreaming. They say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, than to never have loved at all.. but wouldn't it be better if we could hold on forever? They say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, than to never have loved at all.. but wouldn't it be better if we could hold on forever? I thought I saw you yesterday, but I must have been dreaming, 'cause I just woke up.
4.
I still have your note up on my mirror wall, even though mom always tells me to just take it off. She says it's getting old, and I can just remember it. She doesn't understand what it means to me, and you wouldn't believe me, if I told you that it's the only reason I keep pushing on and on and on. It's just nice to know that someone, somewhere is proud of me. It's just nice to know that someone, somewhere believes in me. I just hate, I just hate that it took for you to leave for me to understand, and now it's just been so long. I'm sorry I let so much time pass by, before I said goodbye. (I'm sorry I, I'm sorry I let so much time pass by. You're always on my mind.) (I'm sorry I, I'm sorry I let so much time pass by. You're always on my mind.) I'm sorry I let so much time pass by, I never wanted to say goodbye.
5.
Cope 04:10
I find it easier to cope on paper. It's the only way to make sure I get everything out. & I don't write to please anyone. I'm just trying to get this pressure building up off my chest, 'cause it's hard enough to breathe when I force my heart to beat and it's hard enough to stand with the weight of the world in my hands. I just like to be alone. I just like to be alone. So don't take it personal when I push you away, I'd just rather say, "I'm okay, I'm okay." and pretend like I believe it. So don't take it to heart if I'm a little harsh, I'm just a little insensitive from holding this in for so long. I just like to be alone. The air's so cold here. It's so hard to get this out. I'm consumed by these thoughts that I've been holding in. I'll soon die if I don't get this out. 'Cause it's hard enough to breathe when I force my heart to beat. 'Cause it's hard enough to breathe when I force my heart to beat. I hate that I can snap like a rat-trap at the first sight of your hands reaching out to me. I guess it's just the results of the faults that I've built over time and all my insecurities. I hate the feeling I get when it builds up inside of me, clutching my lungs through my throat so I can't breathe. I wish I could get rid of this pain in my throat when I say that I'm sorry, you know that it's not me. I'm consumed by these thoughts that I've been holding in. I'll soon die if I don't get this out.
6.
Golden 03:46
I'm sorry I left the back door locked. I know the little things really piss you off. I'm sorry I can't hold my tongue when we fight. I'm not sorry for being honest, I'm just sorry that we're always on this. I can't do this anymore. I'm too young to feel this tired. I'll admit, sometimes I kinda miss being your kid rather than your "biggest disappointment." I never meant to hurt you. Despite what you believe, I've never stopped loving you. I hate that I am the reason you don't sleep at night. The last thing I want, is to be the reason you don't wake up. I hate that I am the reason you don't sleep at night. The last thing I want, is to be the reason you don't wake up. And I know you say that you love me, and you'll be the first to take a bullet for me, but it's hard to believe when you say, "You're so fucking stupid. You're so fucking dumb. You're nothing to be proud of, I don't know where I went wrong." "You're so fucking stupid. You're so fucking dumb. I don't know where you'll end up, but at this rate, you'll surely fuck up." "You're nothing to be proud of, I don't know where I went wrong." ... I'm sorry I left the backdoor locked. I know that I do it all the time.
7.
For a Second 05:09
Sitting here, staring out my window.. out at the trees, counting the leaves as they fall. And hearing myself breathe puts me at ease..for now. and my head's too heavy for my own two shoulders. A glass filled to the rim, spilling all over. And I'm still filling up. Fed up and ready to give up.. I'm ready to give up. I've been told a thousand times that it's just a part of growing up, it's all in my mind. Well maybe that's so, but how was I supposed to know, if I was all alone at the lowest point of low. I never lacked attention, I never asked for affection, but the constant drilling at my head to make no mistakes left me wishing for a fucking second of silence. I remember that day, it was first sign of peace I'd had in months. Four white walls closing in, my hands were shaking, my hope and heart were broken.. and for a second I thought, for just a second I thought.. "This could be so easy for me.. to just let go..to just be alone." but what if, what if,maybe, there's something waiting for me. Like a love or a dream, or anything REALLY worth dying for.. Imagine what I never would've known, if I never gave myself the chance to grow. Imagine what I never would've known, if I never gave myself the chance to grow. I wouldn't be here.. I wouldn't be HERE.

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Acoustic EP

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released February 16, 2013

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Seasons Change Pico Rivera, California

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